Im not trying to go on a complaining streak here, but...
I went on Amazon to find a book for my Gay and Lesbian Lit class and I decided to search around the website under the Gay and Lesbian fiction section. It was broken up into a few categories: poetry, short stories...and then it was broken up into Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual (there was no Transgendered). So I first looked at the Gay section and there were 104 pages of things that canstitute "Gay Lit." Then, I looked under Lesbian and there were 68 pages of things that constitute "Lesbian Lit." Okay, so that already sucks because, granted, 68 is more than half of 104, but not by much. So then, I decided to check out the "Bisexual Lit" section. Now, I am not that naive; I knew that there weren't going to be as many books under Bi Lit as there were the other two. But, still, it made me really sad to find that there were only 2 pages of "Bi Lit." TWO FUCKING PAGES. The Lesbian Lit had 34 times as many titles; the Gay Lit had 52 times as many titles.

Contrary to popular belief, it is not necessarily easier to be bi. Yeah, I know I fucking have hetero priveledge and gays and lesbians don't, but gays and lesbians at least get full recognition and respect within the queer community and by society at large. People think its easier to come out as bi; thats only true when it is assumed/implied that the bi indentity is temporary. As long as it is implied that said out bi will eventually stop being a cowardly gay/lesbian and fully come out, or that the slutty straight person will settle down, then the bi identity is accepted and, yes, it is easier to come out. But what about people like me? What about people who are secure in the identity as bi? What about people who know that they aren't scared gays/lesbian or slutty straights? We still get treated like one day, the "real us" will come out. The straight world doesn't want to get to know us (unless we're blond college girls who will flash the cameras of GIRLS GONE WILD) and we get made fun of by people in the "community" that is supposed to embrace us and not judge us (not everyone in the queer community has done this, obviously to me personally, but there are people in my "community" who have said very hurtful things about my identity...they said they'd laugh in my face, and yet they had to say this behind my back).

The term lesbian does not feel right to me at all, and the term straight REALLY doesn't feel right to me. Bisexual feels right to me and to be perfectly fucking honest, I FEEL LIKE THE ONLY ONE ON THE FACE OF THIS STUPID FUCKING PLANET WHO FEELS THIS WAY. People who I love and respect, people who I used to share a common bond with over the bi indentity are no longer identify as bi. I have no right to judge anyone, but it sucks basically one of the only ones left. I feel like maybe I should just identify as straight. I mean, I am in a "straight" relationship (by all outward apperances) and sometimes it just gets too hard...too hard to explain myself, too hard to lose people to indetify and share with, too hard to hear about the comments made behind my back, too hard to hear people I consider to be open-minded say "bi is used as a cop-out; it's easier to come out as bi," it's too hard to only see two fucking pages.

Yeah, you know I'm not going to identify as straight...

You know I won't change...

But sometimes I want to.

Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.
~Tallulah Bankhead, actress and bisexual~